On Monday I had lunch with a couple of girlfriends who quickly commented on how extremely relaxed I seemed, despite all that I have going on right now. I was flattered, as I know that oftentimes I am annoyingly stressed out, and I was very happy that the girls were able to note my calm demeanor without me having to say that I really DO feel calm. In fact, it's bizarre how calm I feel about everything. I know that I will be closing the sale of our current home and the purchase of our next home only nine days before my due date. I know that I have absolutely nothing packed (well nothing more than what we binned in order to put our home up for sale.) I know that I can't do a ton of work moving houses. I know that my body is about to go through a lot during the birth of my second baby. I know that soon enough I will be spending hours each day nursing, changing diapers, and NOT SLEEPING. I know that I have virtually nothing prepared for my maternity leave and I haven't even talked to the person who is going to sub for me (in my defense, I was just given a sub a few days ago)... yet I feel completely calm. At least for now.
I thought a lot about the positive comments from the girls after I left that lunch. Why am I so calm? I should be flipping out in typical Lavender-style. Perhaps it's because I already went through a month-long period of mourning leaving our home and debating whether or not we were making the right decision by moving. Perhaps it's because I feel like I still have enough time to get all of my work done for school before baby comes. Perhaps it's because a lot of this is out of my control. MOST LIKELY it's because I am constantly reassured by my favorite Bible Verse:
Here it is again in a paraphrased version:
So yeah, I am personally at peace right now. Mental peace. It feels great. So what do I wonder this Wednesday, you ask? Well this is going to sound SO Mom-ish, so be prepared...
I wonder how William will handle it all.
Toddlers are interesting. I believe that they are truly creatures of habit. For example, every night when we give William a bath we have to do the EXACT SAME THING. Whenever someone watches William when we are gone, we assure them that he will tell them what is next if they don't know so they don't need to worry about it.
Here is the bath/Band-Aid/book/bedtime routine we have fallen into for the past... hmmmmmm... I'd say five months at least.
We let him choose what color tablet he will use to dye the water and then he throws it in. We bathe him, then we rinse his back, then we rinse his head. We lift him out of the tub and then we dry him off. He says, "Brush your teeth is next" ... which it is ... and then when that's done he will say, "Band-Aid is next!" ... which it is ... We have to give him a Charlie Brown Band-Aid every single night that he plasters on his bare chest and marches around saying, "I got a Band-Aid!" Then we put his diaper on him, dress him in his PJs, and then he picks out a "chair book" (which is a book we read in the glider). He hands me the book and then walks to the ottoman where my feet are propped, grabs both of my ankles and hoists himself up to the ottoman, says "I climb Mommy Mountain!" and then, kneeling on the ottoman, he holds his arms out to me and says, "You got me?" And I always say, "I will always catch you" and he does a little bit of a lunge/leap forward to the chair (over the small separation between the ottoman and the glider) and then we cuddle up with his blankie and mimi and read the "chair book" of the night. After the book is over, he slides off of the glider and goes under my right leg, back to the bookshelf saying, "I go in the hole!" He picks up one more book, walks it to his bed, and lies down. I read him this "bedtime book" and then we say our prayers. I always take prayer requests first and they have been the same from William for at least three months now. He always asks that we pray for, "Chuck E. Cheese, The Giraffe Store, The Letter Store, and the Big Box Store" (translated that means Chuck E. Cheese, Toys R Us, Babies R Us, and Costco - and the ironic thing is that we've only take him to the first three of these places about two times each since he could actually remember... we are evil parents who always tell him that these places are sleeping when he wants to go there... I promise I will take him back to Chuck E. Cheese before baby comes though. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do that for him after months of praying for CEC). So we pray and then do "tucky tucky" which sometimes is "mumify" which once turned into "Dadify" and then later "Lavender-fy"... so funny. Then I kiss him on his cheek, tell him that I love him so much and then Dom does the same and we turn off his light and leave the room. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.
So there, that's why I think toddlers are creatures of habit. Not to mention how William has to give a hug, a kiss, and a high-five to everyone he says goodbye to... in that order. He will literally grab your hand to slap it if you forget the high-five at the end.
Therefore, despite my personal calmness... I have come to realize that I am extremely nervous about how William will handle his upcoming changes. I usually feel as though we are doing the right thing by changing a lot at once, so that we can just get it all over with, but perhaps that will make William go nuts.
What exactly are the changes that William will soon endure?
Well, for starters he will become a big brother. When we ask if he is having a brother or a sister, he usually answers. If he says brother, the name he says is Keegan. If he says sister, the name he says is Hannah. Neither of these are names we are using; they are the names of the youngest boy and girl at the babysitter's house. Sometimes though, William will say NO when you ask him if he's having a brother or a sister. I am sure this is perfectly normal, but it worries me a bit. Life is going to be a LOT different for the little guy. He won't be the only kid anymore. I know that eventually he won't remember life as an only child, but I am sure the transitional phase is a challenge.
Another change is our big move to the 'burg. William has only ever known this house to be his home, so I am worried about how he will handle the move. He once looked at a picture of the house and said that it was Margaret's house (his babysitter's). I realized that they do kind of resemble one another. We ask him if he's ready to move to the big house, and again he usually answers "NO".
We are also moving William from the nursery (he has been in the crib converted into a toddler bed for a while now) to his "big boy room" when we move. We figured it would just be easier for him to do the switch all at once. However, we are keeping the same nursery furniture and bedding... which is b/c we have all gender-neutral stuff and because we are cheap. I always said I was glad we didn't find out with the first baby so we could just cheap-out and use the same stuff over for the next kid, but now I worry about the fact that the nursery will be almost the SAME and William might think it's his room. I am working hard to make his toddler room look more enticing than the nursery, but this is another unpredictable situation we'll soon be facing.
A couple of other changes that William must go through in the near future are getting rid of the mimi (binky) and potty training. For now, I am not going to fret about either situation. OK, so my 2 1/2 year old still uses a pacifier and wears diapers. Well, I have bigger battles to fight right now. I can't make him go through ALL of these changes at once, so I am not going to even bother. In fact, my pediatrician told me to wait on the potty training until the end of the summer... so I might go with that advice. I know my babysitter prefers it done over summer, but he won't even be three until November so I don't want to rush anything. At this rate maybe it will be NEXT summer. Not that I want to buy diapers for two... He's not super interested in it right now, although he is starting to get the idea that he should be peeing and pooping in the Elmo potty and not in a diaper. Even the change in the fact that now he tells us when he poops in his diaper is a positive one. We are working with that and trying to remind him to tell us BEFORE he goes "next time". Finally, I am going to switch his car seat position from behind me to behind the passenger seat. This will allow me to hand him items easily.
I just don't want him to think he's "being replaced" by baby. Or hate our new house b/c it comes with a baby. Or get angry with Dom and me because we took him from the home where he took his first steps.
I will keep you posted on how William handles everything. Of course many people smile and say that this is NOTHING and that their kids were perfectly adjusted within NO TIME and many others say it is a challenge, but like everything else we will get through it. I know all the lines. I have heard them a million times and I am prepared to hear them a million more. I am just not prepared to live it all out... quite yet.
Wish us luck! Chuck E. Cheese did!
